Have you ever had to deal with a problem like this?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months, and we’ve grown extremely close to each other. He’s a wonderful guy, and we’ve talked seriously about marraige. However I have a small problem: he’s read my journal twice now. The first time he read it, he’d found an old one, and read something I’d written about an ex. We had a little fight, but I thought we’d worked it out. However a couple days ago, he began asking questions.. ones that concerned particularly topics that I’d written about a week ago in my journal. I knew he’d read it again, and I asked him about it….
Read more about this dilema, and the interesting dialogue in response at CafeMom.
I’ve had some major issues with this myself– my mother and sister both read my journal when I was going through some difficult times in college, and when I argued with my mother about the invasion of privacy, she basically said that it was her duty to know what was going on with her child, and that I shouldn’t have written anything down that I didn’t want others to read.
I also had a relationship with someone who read my journal more than once. The first time, I didn’t mind, because it ended up helping resolve some doubt about whether we were actually interested in each other, so the journal was actually what got us together. The second time, I’d written something that was so blown out of proportion that it led to us breaking up! I think for that reason, I’ve had some periods of time during certain relationships when I tended not to keep a journal, or perhaps to leave things out of it that I knew could be difficult to read. I’ve also had phases where I kept two journals, and kept the one with the super-secret stuff in my office where I knew my partner couldn’t read it. I’m glad I don’t have to do that now– as the comments at Cafe Mom point out, it’s all about trust, on both sides. I trust my partner not to look, and there’s nothing in there that I’m ashamed of anyway.
Does anyone else have any stories to share about others reading your notebooks?